This was a busy week for me, which left little time for browsing through profiles. I did read a few, and managed to extract some noteworthy sentences which I shall share with you now.

One 55-year old gent says, “I’m looking for a best friend and long-term partner who doesn’t snore too much.” I would have to agree with Mr. Double Nickels. I believe there are a staggering number of couples who actually sleep in different rooms due to this very noisy, bed-rattling condition.

Another guy with an intact sense of humor states, “I can even pass a FBI background check!” In this day and age, one must also be able to pass an AIDS test as well.

Another funny, local fella listed words NOT used to describe himself: Skoal, GED, Probation, Parole, Live w/mama. I would also toss in unemployed, tattooed, bankrupt, never-married and player.

This next quote is printed in its exact form: “I enjoy conservation about most anything and the Bilbe.” I have stressed in much earlier posts the importance of utilizing spell check, or at least a teenage proofreader. This is precisely the reason why!

One romantic bachelor considers “mutual massages, foot rubs and bubble baths a must.” This conjures up those infamous Cialis commercials with the couple in dual bathtubs, which just happen to be located outdoors in their scenic backyard. Due to the age of my matches, I would find it highly likely that Mr. Bubbles needs to pop a pill before jumpin’ in the tub!

And lastly, there is always at least one guy who has ridiculous expectations of the age ranges of his potential mates. This week, one 52-year old (who looked older) is seeking women aged 35-51. Okay, it is math time again. He is comfortable dating a woman 17 years his junior (a little on the creepy side), but cannot date a woman his own age. (She has to be at least a year younger than him.) WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?????? After more than six months of reading profiles, I still fail to understand the insecurity of men who cannot date/marry a woman their own age, or even a few years older. Especially, when they look MUCH OLDER THAN THEIR AGE!

And, that folks, is all she wrote. I hope you had a good week, and that your summer is in full swing. Our summer has been anything but “lazy,” and appears to be passing at lightening speed. I will write more about that in another post!