Online Dating-Week 26

Two milestones have been reached this weekend. First, yesterday marked six months since subscribing to the first online dating site and my commitment to writing this journal of sorts. It also marks the end of my subscription to said first site. There are no regrets about the time and money invested in this membership. I did not meet Mr. Right, but I did extract lots of material for this blog from the countless profiles I read. This leaves me with just one site, where one must tread carefully due to a high level of scammers, con artists and just flat out liars, who are all considered my “match.”

Summer is in full swing, especially with this the Fourth of July weekend. Over this long holiday, there will plenty of opportunities for swimming, barbecuing, firework displays and motorcycling. Motorcycles you say? There were several Harley dudes lookin for love in this week’s matches. (In fact, one 57-year old biker posted no photo of himself, but did include a snazzy photo of his shiny, metallic blue Harley!)  Come along for a ride through this week’s peek at profiles……

One gent wants his match to know, “I’m a guy who will kiss you in the rain, your bedroom, or in a restaurant.” I’m not sure why I felt the need to jot this phrase down? It just struck me as kind of funny. Anyway, I think I prefer singin in the rain! He also loves to watch “Dancing with the Stars,” which I thought was mostly a chick show. At least he didn’t mention “Two and a Half Men.” (You must read an earlier post for clarification.)

Under “Favorite Things,” one 45-year old said, “I am pretty much steak and potatoes, but I did try asparagus yesterday.” My son’s pediatrician once told us, “As you grow older, your taste buds grow up, too.” I am happy to hear that Mr. Meat and Potatoes has experienced a growth spurt with his own taste buds and is actually eating his veggies!

A second 45-year old was very adamant that “I do not want a player.” (He followed this up by including, “I know that statement coming from a guy is hilarious.”) I don’t know about you, but I did laugh out loud. I had never heard females described as “players,” but my younger, hip hair stylist assured me that there certainly are such women. I just happened to catch a few reruns of  “Sex and the City” the other night, and concluded that Samantha is most definitely a player. Yes, in many ways, women today are certainly giving men a race for the prize as top D-A-W-G.

One faceless, 56-year old listed several things that he is passionate about, including “Hanging out with my two best friends in the whole world, (that would be BFFWW-Best Friends in the Whole World) and zombies.” Huh? How can one be passionate about zombies? I thought they were dead? Does he see dead people? He is also thankful for his “sexual apitite.” Do his sexual conquests include zombies, because I think that is called Necrophilia? He also listed his occupation as “Iowes.” Is that shorthand for “I owe, therefore, I go to work?”

As I mentioned earlier, there were several biker dudes this week. The two most memorable ones included a youthful looking 50-year old and fairer Howard Stern look-a-like. (His long, board-straight blonde hair fell down to his waist.) He is passionate about peace and social justice. Like me, he was born just a little too late to have been an official hippie from the Haight Ashbury/Woodstock era. He wears his hair long and probably also drives an old VW bus spray painted with psychodelic graffiti. I channel my inner hippie by following a vegetarian diet, proudly donning clothing, jewelry and handbags decorated with peace signs, and my politics lean toward liberal. ” My motto is “Peace, Love and Rock-n-Roll!”

The second 55-year old biker guy wrote one of those rambling manifestos I often speak about. I could have reprinted the entire profile here for your entertainment, but for brevity’s sake, I will list a few of his priceless statements:

“Outside, I look like an old, short, fat, bald, grumpy biker….”

“I HATE to shave. I also HATE to do laundry.”

“I have a potty mouth and talk like a sailor. Two of my favorite words are wiener and turd.”

On a much more positive note, I leave you with a few precious quotes one local guy used in his own well-written profile:

“When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.”

“Words that soak into your ears are whispered not yelled.”

“Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.”

I hope you pick one or all three to inspire you this week and beyond. There is nothing like a good mantra to steer you back on track if you have temporarily skidded off the road. Thanks for riding (and reading) along this week!

1 thought on “Online Dating-Week 26

  1. Great blog! Does Meat know that apsaragus makes your pee smell wierd? Joan, we all know you’re too sweet to be a “play-ah”! Oh my, I could riff on this material for a while so, I’ll just steal one of those motivational quotes for my fb page and get going. Have a great holiday weekend!

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