My dating service is really searching the far corners of the earth for my mate. (Well, maybe just the Midwest and East, but it sure does seem far!) Out of a total of 26 matches, only two were from my home state. I did email one guy who lives about five hours away. I received a reply from the dating service that he accepted my communication, but I have never received an actual communication from him. Oh, well. Here is a recap of my favorites responses this week:

Under “Occupation,” one guy wrote that he operates a nuclear power plant. You don’t see that everyday, plus I wonder if I actually saw him the dark, would he glow? Another fellow wrote, ” I provide a service that goes house to house.” My first thought was that he delivers milk, or is a Fuller Brush salesman, but then I realized that this isn’t the 60’s. After reading further along in his profile, he lets you know that he is a mail carrier. He also mentions that he is looking for a “girl that is loving and caring.” He is 54 years old and looking for a girl? That sounds kind of pedophile creepy.

Under “Things I Can’t Live Without,” there were some new and interesting answers: My Rav4, spell check, cashmere, cheesecake, protein powder, my tailor (who says that?) and greasy french fries. (This last one was written by a guy who tells you he is passionate about physical fitness. Exercise, maybe- proper nutrition, no.)

Under “Additional Information I Want You to Know,” one gent actually wrote, “I look 10 years younger than my age” (which is 55.) I flipped through a few photos of this Dick Clark wannabee, and I would have to disagree. Anyway, who would write that about themself? Another guy wants you to know, “I have all of my teeth.” I am happy to hear that you apparently brush and floss daily. It it what 9 out of 10 dentists recommend!

I did have my third somewhat odd character show up this week. In the very first section of his profile, under “The One Thing I Am Passionate About, ” he wrote, “I love the physics in the new bowling scene, angular momentum, coefficient of friction, speed vs. rpms, etc. WHAT? Or as Sarah Palin says, “WTF????” He goes on to tell you that he “Loves to bowl as much as his body can tolerate.” Under “Leisure Time,” he wrote, “Sex is the greatest activity when done right. Cuddling and watching TV are overrated.” Needless to say, I had to let this one get away. Hopefully, far away!

I am still recovering from knee surgery, and thus feeling less than attractive as I drag around my swollen limb. I have graduated from two crutches, to one crutch and now to a cane, and remain hopeful that this may be the week that I regain my normal gait. This really is my one true wish for now.