April 2nd marked the end of a three-month subscription to my online dating service. My account automatically renewed for an additional 90 days. My total financial investment thus far is $216.80. Other than the 13 posts to this blog, I have very little to show for this rather large outflow of cash. I take a moment to envision all of the new shoes and/or Spring clothes that could have been purchased with this money, or how it would come in handy in paying off my newly acquired medical bills. Oh well, you can’t put a price on searching the globe for love!

This week, 17 matches were sent to me. There were six profiles with no photos, a few bad spellers and at least two Harley dudes. On fellow, a former Army Sergeant Major, is looking for a “golf buddy.” Aren’t there hundreds of “golf buddies” at your local course? Another fellow hopes to meet someone who is “relatively low maintenance.” My answer to that is, “Aren’t we all?” Another gent, who I suspect may have been the victim of spousal cheating, is looking for someone “loyal and honest.” He goes on to say, “Besides, lying is a sin.” Ouch! I think his wound still stings. Another 57-year old bachelor was very upfront in letting potential mates know that he declared bankruptcy about four years ago. I’m not so sure I would share that kind of information in a profile. Some things just might need to be revealed down the road-like after a few dates.

Under the section, “Books I Have Read, ” one tall AND big guy (his words) shares that he is not an avid reader. He says, “I ask you not to hold that against me as I am a very intelligant man.” Smart? Maybe. A spelling bee champion? Probably not!

One forty-something guy from landlocked Toledo, Ohio wants you to know that he can’t live without, “The smell of ocean water.” I wonder how he is alive? I checked my map and there is no ocean water in northern Ohio. He is also looking for someone “exceptional.” That word sounds like a synonym for “perfect.” Good luck finding her. Under additional information I want you to know, he shares a laundry list of items:

“I have good credit. I do not go to bars, (which goes together with) I do not do drugs and I barely drink. I drive many new cars and collect vintage. I am humble. I am confident.” I felt like I was reading an elementary school essay where the assignment was to complete this sentence, ” I am ……….”

I must admit that I have been merely going through the motions these past few weeks in seeking a mate. It is hard to feel “attractive” when you are hobbling around on one crutch, dragging a lincoln log for a leg. I have lost nearly all of the muscle mass in my newly repaired extremity, and the rest of me feels flabby as well. This is what happens to a 50-year old body when you lay around all day with your leg propped up, staring at the spackled ceiling of your bedroom. I hope to be back on BOTH feet soon, able to successfully prowl for men.