Online Dating-Week 10

Week ten brought a whopping 34 matches to my inbox, with one slight problem-the vast majority were way out of my set 300 mile radius. (A mere eight men were from my home state.) Of the 34 eligible bachelors, 13 posted no photo, and at least eight listed “sports” as a passion and/or a leisure time activity. The “weirdometer” was also awakened from its slumber when the second wackiest profile I have read thus far was sent to me. (The first one was written by nature boy who carried his own weather. Remember him?) At least five bios were less than 20 words in length, with one guy summing himself up in just nine words. Three of these “men of few words” couldn’t even be bothered with posting a photo. One has to wonder how truly committed they are to the dating process with so little time invested in creating what is literally an ad for yourself. Here is a quick rundown of my picks of the week:

One ego-maniac wrote, “I am in great shape. I am also intelligent, articulate and well-educated, but not snobbish.” I would beg to differ.

Under the section, “Additional Information I Want You to Know, ” one 57-year old gent wrote, “I am not easy, but I am worth it.” He never mentions family or friends in his profile, only his yellow Labrador Retriever. I felt a bit sorry for this particular fellow, because waking up everyday as Mr. I’m Not Easy has to be lonely at times.

Second place in the Dr. Dolittle category (also known as, “I like animals way more than people”) goes to the fellow who wrote in great length about his horses.

One 52-year old fellow, who I surmised has probably never been married or reproduced himself, is most thankful for the “love, guidance and affection my mother gave me.” He wrote this under the category,” Outside of your family, who has been the most influential person in your life?” Considering those guidelines, mentioning your mother here may cause your reader (me) to assume that you are a mommy’s boy. Not cool when you are a card-carrying member of the AARP!

After a long break, the best photo category actually had two winners this week. The runner-up was lying (fully clothed) on his side on an area rug, looking up at the camera. This particular pose strikes me as something you might see in Playgirl, minus the clothes. Kind of creepy! The winning photo had this particular match standing in a kitchen next to a side-by-side refrigerator decorated with a large snowman. He was dressed in a gray Henley shirt, which was tucked into a pair of blue and white pajama bottoms printed with dolphins. Nice outfit. Thanks for getting all dressed up!

Last but not least is the weirdometer’s pick for wackiest profile of the week. Here is a list of answers he provided to the fill-in-the-blank questions:

The One Thing I Am Most Passionate about: “Inner self-healing, and being in alignment with self.”

The Three Things I Am Most Thankful For: #1 My self, #2 My Beloved (who is she?) #3 My primary relationship with self.

Additional Information I Would Like You to Know: “Although my wife transitioned, I still love her.” While I think he is most likely referring to the fact that his has wife passed on, there is some room to believe that “transitioning” might refer to the fact that she has become a man. This exact thing just happened to a friend of my family. “Joseph” is in the process of transitioning into “Josephine.”

What is the Last Book You Read: “I haven’t read a book in a while. No real interest in another’s creation unless it is someone close to me.” This might explain all of his references to “self.” I think he is a bit self-absorbed!

How Do You Spend Your Leisure Time: (This is my FAVORITE answer.) “Sunning in the shade.” If one is shaded by an umbrella or a tree, I don’t think there is much “sunning” taking place.

On a positive note, there was one nicely written profile from a long-distance match. He portrayed himself as a devoted father and advocate for abused children and animals. There was no talk about a love of sports, or workaholic tendencies. I did send him an email in which I gave him accolades for writing such a thoughtful and compassionate profile. He did not write back. Oh well, I should get extra credit for taking a chance.

A new week has begun, so I am sure more blogging material is on the way. I will keep writing until I can drop the “w” and find Mr. Right.

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