As the title of this post suggests, I was finally granted a week where the weird and the wacky seem to have been weeded out. This first week of February was a breath of fresh air, even if that air was cold and snowy. (This is a reference to our chilly winter, where there is never-ending precipitation falling from the sky. Excuse me-I digress.) While the number of pickins was slim (just 10 matches), the vast majority of the profiles were pleasant to read, written by seemingly nice men. This week’s photo scroll was also notably easier on the eyes. The batch did, however, include three with no photos-about the same percentage as last week. Under “religion,” there again were a few non-believers (neither religious or spiritual), but did include the first Muslim. A few reader/friends have strongly gently suggested that I give a guy (or two) a chance, so I did initiate contact, via email, with one particular 51-year old. To-date, I have not received a response. This is the second time I have reached out with zero results. Surprisingly, this “rejection” does not appear to threaten my self-esteem because, quite frankly, they don’t really even KNOW me. They see a couple of photos, read a brief synopsis, but what they are lacking is physical presence. You can’t really KNOW someone without experiencing their energy, also known as “vibe” or “aura.”

Here is some commentary on the profiles of this week’s matches. I think you will find them “kinder and gentler” as well:

There was one fellow who listed “trust” as the number one thing he is looking for. This response suggests to me that quite possibly, this once loving, devoted husband was cheated on. To him I would say, ” I am truly sorry. Once you heal from your loss and betrayal, I guarantee that you will see that your ex did you a favor. Your next wife, who is waiting in the wings for you, will be a MUCH better person and spouse.”

Next, I would like to  address a comment that was posted on one gent’s profile. He wants you to know (get ready for a direct quote here), “I would put your happiness ahead of mine, and would appreciate the same consideration in return.”  I would like to take a moment to discuss the premise that anyONE or anyTHING can make you happy. I believe that true happiness can only come from within. It can’t be bought in a store, drunk from a bottle, or ingested in the form of food or pills. While another person can contribute to your joyous nature, they cannot give it to you, nor offer it up in place of their own. Anyway, men of this certain age should know by now that there is only one thing (outside of herself) that can make a woman happy and that, my friend, is chocolate-not technically a food!

On another note, after painstakingly (and often painfully) leafing through close to 200 profiles, I have noticed that several men list “watching sports” (including baseball, football and basketball) as either a passion, or something they do in their leisure time. Dear Abby would like to make one teeny, tiny suggestion. Save this VERY important data about yourself until AFTER you have “hooked her,” or possibly even “reeled her in.” Unless she is a sports fanatic herself (about 1 in two billion females, studies have suggested) OR, she doesn’t mind having her guy sprawled on the sofa weekend after weekend (this is approximately 1 in three billion women), this information just may prevent YOU from getting “hooked” and possibly “reeled in.”

In an effort to end the week on a high note, I would like to share my positive outlook on the whole online dating process and my careful recording of material contained within this  blog. My year-long endeavor is sure to prove a “win-win” for me. At the end of this journey, I will have either met my soul mate OR will have enough material to write my memoir titled, My Year of Meets. (This is a play-on-words of the title of a book I read several years ago, My Year of Meats, a rather good read by the way.) If I end up with a book deal instead of a living, breathing male, I will use my proceeds to purchase my man on the Internet. I will not use the mail-order route frequently chosen by many American men (usually Russia), but will instead select my groom from Italy. Vito, who is eagerly seeking a green card, shall willingly surrender his Italian citizenship to spend happily-ever-after with me.  See, I told you this is a win-win!