The Big Squeeze

The girls and I had a lunchtime date today.  This was not your usual soup, salad and gossip type outing.  It was time for my annual mammogram.  This was probably my ninth or tenth test, but it never gets less painful or embarrassing.  The girls no longer stand at attention like good soldiers, so they have to be hoisted onto the machine by the technician. I am then placed in several contortionist positions in order to get the best view of the twins, “righty and lefty.”  Who came up with this idea? I am pretty sure it was man.

We, the women of the world, should unite and develop some kind of test where the “man parts” (also referred to as their second brain), are tossed onto a cold, metal plate and flattened out like pancakes.  I am pretty sure that there would be some kind of uprising or coup!  They would not tolerate “the boys” being handled in such an inhumane way. They would become sympathetic to our cause. Newer technologies would be developed so that their mothers, wives, sisters and daughters would not be subjected to the humiliation of the mammogram.

Until then, ladies please be sure to schedule your annual or bi-annual  mammogram if you are 40 or older. If there is a history of breast cancer in your family, or if you have other risk factors, you should consult with your doctor about the right protocol for you.  Do it for the girls!

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