Online Dating-Week 29

I posted a few new photos on my profile this week. (The pics were taken on our recent trip to the Bahamas.) Apparently, this was all I needed to do in order to shake things up a bit. I received four flirtatious communications from men aged 54-65, and two emails. One of the flirts was a small-in-stature, 59-year old who posted no photo. He is seeking women aged 45-63. He received one point for considering women four years his senior, but loses two points for chasing after ladies 14 years his junior. The 65-year old is seeking women aged 50-80. His magic number appears to be fifteen-he’ll go 15 years younger and 15 years older. I get the younger chick thing, but an 80-year old woman? I honestly have trouble conjuring up a visual of that relationship. Also, the dating site warns that a broad age-range can be a method of the scammer, as they seek to be matched with as many profiles as possible. Watch out ladies!

I was sent the profile of a 47-year old firefighter from my home state. He was a very fit fellow, who posted several shirtless photos of himself. While he was no match for me, I do give him my vote as Mr. August in the upcoming 2012 Hotter-Than-Hell Firefighter Calendar. He was very specific about characteristics he considered deal breakers:

“No smokers or liberals. We would never agree. I don’t believe in spreading the wealth.”

“Not interested in anyone who defines themselves as a mom.”

“If you are currently separated and haven’t filed for divorce, you shouldn’t be on here.”

I came up with an easier (and shorter) way to say all of the above: ” No Democrat, cigarette smoking moms who haven’t ditched daddy yet!”

I had two favorite photos this week. The runner-up was actually two photos posted by “Cheerful Marshall.” His primary photo, probably fairly current, portrayed a gray-haired gent wearing rather large wire-framed glasses which covered a large portion of his face. When you clicked on photo #2, Marshall was staring at me from behind the same pair of spectacles, however, his hair was now a brownish/blond. Apparently, Mr. Cheerful has been donning the same pair of eyeglasses since the 70’s. My advice to him would be to update the lenses with a look that is more current. (I know a great optometrist I can hook him up with.) New lenses plus new photos equals more dates with the chicks. This will give Marshall something to really be cheery about!

The winning photo was actually the 11th and final photo in a slide show posted by a potential match. The picture was a close-up of a cup of beer resting on the arm of a chaise lounge. In the foreground, one could see sand, cabanas and a brief hint of the ocean. This photo rivals pictures frequently sent to me by a co-worker, who resides in Florida.  J.P.enjoys sending close-up shots of his feet, which are generally poolside or propped up on the bow of a boat. Photos of beers and feet. Gotta love the guys!

That folks is a wrap! It was a good week. I had a cool thing happen on Facebook a few days ago. I found one of my favorite high school teachers, who just happened to teach English, one of my better subjects. We are now “friends.” I wonder if I can encourage him to retrieve his red pen from the moth balls and critique my writing? It would be like the old days, though I would no longer be a menace in class. I have grown up-some!

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