Joan's Jottings


Online Dating-Week 20
May 21, 2011, 1:01 pm
Filed under: Online dating

This week was drama-filled, just like so many others this Spring. My five-year old hot water heater sprung a leak and had to be replaced. (I am pretty sure that in the not-so-distant past, major home appliances earned more mileage than a handful of years, but as the saying goes,” They sure don’t make ’em like they used to.”) My mom was also readmitted to the hospital, where she is being treated for a host of fairly challenging medical issues. It is a good thing that I had my online dating sites as a welcome distraction. (Did I just say “welcome?”). My theme this week is “out of my box.”

I do not believe that I have ever mentioned that I intended to go “outside of my box” while searching for a mate this time around. (My goal was to broaden my view without the confines of my invisible cardboard walls.) From a physical standpoint, I have ALWAYS been attracted to a very narrow sampling of men, which generally consisted of dark-haired gents with a certain lean/fit body type, and the occasional bodybuilder thrown in. (This does NOT include the physique of a once former Mr. Olympia, now America’s newest D.A.W.G.-Arnold Schwarenegger.) I am quickly learning that this portion of my approach is not likely to meet with success. When I am flipping through the photos that gents post with their profiles, I am repeatedly drawn to my tried and true type. I cannot help it! I am, however, having more success climbing outside of my box when it comes to flirting and initiating contact with men. I have never been a flirt in its truest sense, but am attempting to learn more about this harmless, rather fun ritual. (It is definitely easier to flirt on paper-think email-than it is in person, though I am working on perfecting both methods.) I am also emailing guys whose profiles I find attractive, knowing full well that my interest might not be reciprocated. I have emailed several guys and have had at least two write back who very kindly and politely informed me that for one reason or another we are not a match. I did not take this as rejection in any form, because I am fully aware that the universe knows who Mr. Right is, and it will be blatantly evident to me when he does show up. To repeat, as I said last week, I am just tryin’ on jeans, or as it goes in the male version of Cinderella, I am just going from guy to guy trying to determine whose foot fits into the glass slipper. (Okay, maybe not      a glass slipper, but a new pair of Nike’s that were left behind when his Ferrari morphed into a pumpkin!) With that said, it was kind of a fun-filled week in cyberspace. Here are a few of the highlights:

My favorite email chain began with a Swedish transplant who resides in my home state. (I am questioning whether he is really Swedish, because he is not blonde-a good thing for my “box issue”-and he has yet to mention anything about a love of meatballs-a good thing for my “vegetarian issue.”) Anyway, Sven (as I will refer to him for anonymity’s sake) asked me an interesting question in his very first email. He wanted to know if  I had a temper, since he rarely feels the need to yell. I responded by telling him that I do not believe that I have am prone to screaming outbursts, but I am a Leo and we can be feisty at times! We have moved our conversation off of the dating service site to a Google vs. Yahoo communication, but I had a small issue with the correct spelling of his address, so the conversation has lagged a bit over the past day or so. I am not sure that he is the ONE, but his broken english expressions and doting compliments are cute, sweet and entertaining, and at this early stage, that is about all that I need to hold my interest.

There were some memorable quotes and photos this week. Here are a few of my favorites:

“I enjoy a woman who can make a good meal.” To this I say, “Get your head out of the 1950’s and join us in the 21st century. June Cleaver is now the CEO of a major, Fortune 500 company, and she pays a man to cook for her!”

“I see the humor in things like Spongebob, and I have a pet snail named, “Gary.” This fellow might want to meet R. who posted a photo of himself with a LEGO house that he built. I had written a somewhat lengthy comeback for these two, but decided to refrain from passing any kind of judgement. They may not be for me, but they are hopefully a match for someone else.

After reading countless profiles written by aging, American males, I have noticed that when listing their top TV shows, many of them cite the sitcom, “Two and a Half Men,” as a favorite. (This was BEFORE Charlie Sheen had a split with reality, and the show temporarily went into limbo/reruns.) I am not surprised in the least that this particular program is a hit with the fellas. Charlie’s character (ironically named, “Charlie”) has to be the envy of men everywhere. He is a successful, confirmed bachelor with a high alcohol tolerance and a great ocean side home in Malibu, who regularly beds young, hot, voluptuous females without even the hint of an STD. I am pretty sure that Charlie’s life and lifestyle represent the equivalent of nirvana for the vast majority of living and breathing males over the age of sixteen.

And that is all she wrote-well almost! I will still attempt to stick a toe or two outside the comforts of my old familiar box to test the waters in unchartered territory, however, do not find fault with me if I end up sticking with the same old, same old. I really don’t think that we get to pick who we “click” with, be it in friendships or more intimate relationships. Some people pass through our lives briefly as acquaintances, and others are meant to have a more meaningful, longer lasting impact. I am grateful to have crossed paths with both.


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