What to Say When the Unthinkable Occurs

It has been months since I have actually sat down and written something.  I have been caught up in our frazzled and frenzied schedule that occurs every Spring.  I also hesitated to pen my thoughts during times earlier this year when they seemed dark and gloomy. ( I diagnosed myself with a case of S.A.D. topped off with menopausal mood swings.) Today, I sat down at the keyboard in an attempt to come up with some profound succession of words that might help me express my sincere sadness to a new friend that lost her eleven-year old son to cancer early Saturday morning. What do you say to a mother who has just experienced the most unthinkable tragedy? There are no textbooks that prepare us for what to say or do when events occur outside of their natural order. Plain and simply-parents are not supposed to bury their children.

My heart aches for the family and the long road of grief that they will be forced to travel.  I wish them the strength they will need to hang onto each other through the rough days ahead, and quietly pray that they will remain intact as a unit. (Lesser amounts of stress have been known to tear apart a family or a marriage.) For their beautiful son and brother, A., I am confident that he is safe and well on the other side, free of pain and surrounded by love.

1 thought on “What to Say When the Unthinkable Occurs

  1. Yes. It sucks. I want to thank you for just being there, for being available to listen, for not saying things that some morons felt would cheer us up “It’s a blessing in disguise” (what?!), “These things happen”(Well, of course. It just happened), “He’s in a better place” (Our home was a great place for a kid!), “God wanted him back” (I don’t think He would hurt us that much on a whim) etc. Thanks for not expecting us to be over it in a few weeks like a head cold. Thanks for not being afraid of me. Most of all Thanks for facing your fear and coming to the visitation. Without family in the area, this community of friends were a huge comfort.

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